I have been feeling bummed out that I seem to have such a hard time blogging recently...well, really ever since I got pregnant. The funny thing is that I thought I'd be super into blogging and keeping a pregnancy journal and taking belly pictures every week and for some reason I just haven't really been keeping up with any of it.
I keep thinking I should take pictures and I just don't feel like it, or I don't like my outfit, or I feel blah and fat right at that minute.
I keep thinking I should blog and then I feel like I don't have anything to say.
I keep thinking I should write in my pregnancy journal and then I forget about it.
I don't know why I keep feeling like I don't have anything to say about my pregnancy! I think some of it is that feeling that I might jinx it by talking about it too much...and some of it is that at this point I'm sort of starting to get used to the whole idea. My belly is growing. Sometimes I feel the baby. But I feel like I've already said all that!
I guess the thing that feels new right now is that I'm realizing that I actually love the baby already, which is such a strange and amazing feeling. How can you love someone you don't even know? Who isn't even a fully hatched person yet? Who you wouldn't even recognize if you fell over them? But I do, I love my baby already.
I talk to it pretty often, which I had no idea I would do. And I actually talk to it the way I talk to other babies, in that higher-pitched voice that people automatically use with babies. And sometimes I feel like "we" are doing things...like we went to a cafe with my friend this morning, and then we went to visit my 92 year old grandma, who gave my belly lots of nice rubs. It's sort of silly, but I am starting to feel like my baby is my little pal who does things with me.
So...this Wednesday is the big day when we get the anatomy u/s and find out the sex. Eeek! I'm really excited. I get to learn more about my little pal who I already love...amazing.