Saturday, May 12, 2007

Bloggy Bloggerson

I have been feeling bummed out that I seem to have such a hard time blogging recently...well, really ever since I got pregnant. The funny thing is that I thought I'd be super into blogging and keeping a pregnancy journal and taking belly pictures every week and for some reason I just haven't really been keeping up with any of it.

I keep thinking I should take pictures and I just don't feel like it, or I don't like my outfit, or I feel blah and fat right at that minute.

I keep thinking I should blog and then I feel like I don't have anything to say.

I keep thinking I should write in my pregnancy journal and then I forget about it.

Sigh.

I don't know why I keep feeling like I don't have anything to say about my pregnancy! I think some of it is that feeling that I might jinx it by talking about it too much...and some of it is that at this point I'm sort of starting to get used to the whole idea. My belly is growing. Sometimes I feel the baby. But I feel like I've already said all that!

I guess the thing that feels new right now is that I'm realizing that I actually love the baby already, which is such a strange and amazing feeling. How can you love someone you don't even know? Who isn't even a fully hatched person yet? Who you wouldn't even recognize if you fell over them? But I do, I love my baby already.

I talk to it pretty often, which I had no idea I would do. And I actually talk to it the way I talk to other babies, in that higher-pitched voice that people automatically use with babies. And sometimes I feel like "we" are doing things...like we went to a cafe with my friend this morning, and then we went to visit my 92 year old grandma, who gave my belly lots of nice rubs. It's sort of silly, but I am starting to feel like my baby is my little pal who does things with me.

So...this Wednesday is the big day when we get the anatomy u/s and find out the sex. Eeek! I'm really excited. I get to learn more about my little pal who I already love...amazing.

5 comments:

M said...

I think what you are doing is protecting yourself. It's a surreal realization that you'll get a baby at the end of this, and most of us don't really believe it until we see the baby.
It's okay to feel that way. Post when you feel like it. I'll still be checking in on you to see how it's going!
Happy Mother's Day

Nickie said...

Good luck with the u/s this week!! I have another scan on Wed too! Don't beat yourself up for not documenting as much as you think you 'ought' to. I told myself I was going to fill in my pg journal this time but the last time I wrote in it was months ago. Oh well. If it weren't for the belly pics, I probably wouldn't have much to post on my blog either.

The thing that helps me get a post done is to not think that it has to be something brilliant, it can be pretty simple and short too.

Anyway, can't wait to read your update after the u/s!

Hopeful Mother said...

I know what you mean... I keep thinking that I should be documenting this better, since it took so much to get here. It is an incredibly special time, but "normal" at the same time.

I often say when I get in the car in the morning - "OK, let's go to work, babies." Starting to feel attached here too...

I'm excited to read about your next u/s and finding out the sex! So exciting!

Furrow said...

I've also not been documenting things like I thought maybe I "should." My blog posts are usually whiny, doubtful things that I don't necessarily want my child to read in the future. I haven't taken a lot of pictures, but then, the only ones I've seen of my mother are those at the very end of her pregnancies, which I think are the most fun for kids, anyway. What kid wants to look at the 16 week "and here, some people still thought I was just getting chunky" picture?

Best of luck at your u/s. How exciting!

Gemini Girl said...

You must be excited to know the sex. Good luck on wednesday! :)