Saturday, June 16, 2007

23 weeks 2 days

Wow, looking at my ticker today brought home a little reality...I'm steadily creeping up on the 100 days to go milestone, which is just so insane. I feel like this whole pregnancy thing is flying by. I know everyone says it slows down a lot a the end, and I'm sure they're all right, but for now I feel like I can't believe how fast it's going.

Yesterday I went and ordered our crib, which I'm really excited about. It's so pretty and the wood is so nice and smooth...perfect for when baby girl wants to explore the world with her mouth! I've been spending time with a friend's 6 month old lately and am catching on that he thinks mouth first is the best way to discover something new (or say hello to something familiar). So my girl should be very happy with her crib according to those criteria. The drop side is really easy to use and very quiet, and the drawer underneath slides out smoothly. Yay!

I also test drove the stroller I had been thinking of getting, and I really liked it. I felt like an idiot trying to fold it up, but after a bunch of practice runs I think I have it's stuff like this that makes me worry that I have no idea how to do the mommy thing, but then I realize that I'm not worried about meeting her most important needs, like food and cuddles and lots of love. So what if I don't perfectly and smoothly fold the stroller the first time, she won't know the difference.

She's still moving a lot, now I feel lots of wiggles and swimming around in addition to the bigger kicks. And I've started to see my tummy move sometimes, which is so nuts.

My belly seems to be getting bigger by the minute and I go back and forth between loving how round it is and feeling like a huge cow. The huge cow feeling is so hard, I just don't feel that cute a lot of the time...everyone says I'm "all belly" but I can tell that my thighs are a little bigger and my arms are softer/rounder than they used to be. I keep telling myself that it will come off after she's born, but I'm already scared of how much work it might be to get the weight off and tone up everything. I hardly ever talk about this stuff because I feel like I should just be so happy all the time about being pregnant, but the truth of the matter is that some days I just feel fat and huge and even my happiness about the baby doesn't make it go away.

I guess what it comes down to though, is that I am learning how to sacrifice my wants and desires for my child...she has to come first, not my desire to be thin or to bend as far forward as I know I can in yoga class (I have to make room for my belly now and not squash her). So I guess I feel like this is probably a good introduction to at least part of what motherhood is about -- it's already not just about me anymore.

More belly pics to come, when I'm feeling a little more cute again. Hopefully we'll take some tomorrow.


Furrow said...

I'm looking forward to seriously starting the nursery preparations. I think the ultrasound brought it home for me that I'm really going to have a baby.

I hear you on the body issues. I go back and forth on feeling good about myself and feeling like a blob.

Nickie said...

ah, screw 'feeling cute'! Document this time - it's so amazing, even if it isn't 'fun' the entire time.

I hear ya on dreading the work it's going to take to get back into shape post-baby. I dread it too. BUT, if you think you feel a sense of accomplishment now for achieving a healthy pregnancy, you will feel even MORE powerful when you get back to your old body. You might even get an improved one over the one you went into pregnancy with.

I have found that the end of the pregnancy moves just as fast (if not faster) than the middle. EXCEPT for in the middle of the night when you can't get comfy to sleep.

And you're right about babies and their mouths, it's like their eyes don't really see it until the mouth sees it too.